I was sitting there, watching and wondering. Why on Earth would anyone want to watch a game of ping pong (or if you’re rather posh you might prefer table tennis)? Why? Maybe because their lives are so empty that only the clicky-clacky sound of a plastic ball being hit by two “athletes” on a mini-sized court reminds them of what once was a beating heart inside their chest but now only echoes the emptiness inside them.

Yeah, that’s probably one reason to watch a ping pong game.

To make this niche sport more exciting and have it watched by millions you’d probably have to play it with a live hand-grenade, I thought to myself. And only 15 years later someone makes a music video with my idea. And my idea alone!

So… here’s Metal on Metal with Bastard.

via The Daily What.

Youtube snip:

Creative Concept: The Glue Society
Director: Matt Devine of The Glue Society
Production Company: Revolver
Executive Producer: Michael Ritchie
Producer: Caroline Barry
DOP: Danny Ruhlmann
Production Designer: Margot Wilson
Editor: Stewart Reeves for Guillotine
CG Supervisor: Bryn Morrow for Fuel
Lead Flame Artist: Chris Scott for Fuel
VFX Producer: Claudia Lecaros for Fuel
Cast:
The Red Team: Belinda Lee
The Blue Team: Micky Lung
Host: Austin Hollister

Take two sources that have nothing to do with each other and mix them in a video blender and out comes something new.

That’s how I would explain it. For a better definition you should look up the word in ye olde wikipedia in your local public library (if you still have one). Or “google it”, whatever that means. All this internet mumbo-jumbo is making my head dizzy. It also could be the fumes from the cans of paint in the garage I’m sitting in as I can’t afford a decent office. The life of a freelancer, what a joy! Thank you, world economy, for making my life even more miserable than I could possibly imagine.

But I digress.

This video features well known Star Wars characters doing crazy things that you would normally see on the MTV show Jackass (also available on DVD, you know.) That’s why it’s called Jedi Jackass and it works suprisingly well. I can imagine that this is what the people in the Star Wars universe are up to when there’s nothing to watch on holonet, or all the womp rats have been shot but there’s still time to waste.

Can these reviews from well-renowned papers lie?

“A new low”
-Bespin Star

“A plunge into depravity”
-Mos Eisley News

No, they can’t. So you know it’s good. Because it’s bad. And this Star Wars/Jackass mashup is tantalisingly awesome. Really.

Its the Tauntaun Sleeping Bag!

Please note the “guts pattern” lining.

Almost makes me want to have kids.

Almost.

An 8Bit waterslide ride in real life.

Of course, this fantastic video was yet again done by people with much more talent, creativity and attention for detail than me, but that won’t surprise any of you (mum, dad – thanks for stopping by).

The video is an entry in a competition from Barclaycard, a credit card company that probably won’t exist in 12 months. Unlike this video. It will stay with you forever – just like that weird rash that you caught on your holiday in Mexico.

Guess where that name comes from, I dare you.

While you’re guessing, have a song about a lost sheep.

Utterly, utterly sad.

WON’T SOMEONE PLEASE FIND THIS LITTLE SHEEP’S MUM? OH DEAR GOD!

Proof: posted to the ugc video sharing site youtube on 19th February 2009.

In internet terms this is, in fact, a very old hat. Or old cheese. Runny, old cheese.

Well, so much for our journalistic integrity on reporting just the facts. Of course we have to post this. It’s (yet another) Star Wars related video. And this is what this site, the safe haven for embedded Star Wars nerdism, is all about.

So without further ado, please do applaud these true heroes of our time for their bravery in, er, science. Or something like that. There’s a Tesla coil, so it must be something to do with science. Possibly.

Power! Unlimited power!

via Nerdcore

Frack. Gonna have to wait for the DVD release torrent so I can catch up with the final series here on the other side of the planet.

We’re Cylons!

If anyone remembers the musical movie Return of the Jedi Special Edition with the horrible muppet band playing in Jabba’s palace… well.

What can I say?

I feel your pain.

It was horrible and over the top.

But I am not here to rant incoherently about a movie that is partly to blame for me being a crazy bitter old man.

Oh noes! Oh noes indeed!

I am here to show you something that should have been in the movie instead of the muppets musical number. A little boy. A little boy playing the harp. And he is playing the Cantina song from Star Wars.

His rendition is so beautiful that it would have melted Han Solo from his carbonite block.

Aren’t you a little short for a harp player?

This is secret video footage of the rebels building the Millennium Falcon. Many bothans died to bring us this information.

Of course, that’s nothing new. Bothans dying that is. They are probably the worst spies in the known universe.

In any case, what you probably haven’t seen yet is lovely little LEGO people building the LEGO Millennium Falcon in stop motion animation. This is awesome and pisses on Lucas’ later work.

Nevermind that this video is not historically accurate. We all know that Han Solo won the Falcon from Lando Calrissian in a game of cards. Still good though.

Yeah. So there we are, back to Star Wars. It only took a couple of days.

Bring me the hydrospanners!

Building the LEGO Millennium Falcon from Gizmodo on Vimeo.

I have been obsessing over the Watchmen movie instead. And rightfully so. It is only half as bad as I expected it to be. It is rather good. You know, even with the replaced octopus monster and half of the comic graphic novel not being in it and all.

And I’m actually not so sure anymore that you have to stay so true to the original source comic graphic novel and have Dr. Manhattan’s blue schlong in almost every scene. It should have been safely stashed away in some pants instead. Much better than to have a giant blue penis dangling around on the screen. Especially on the IMAX version. That is, of course, unless they would have changed Dr. Manhattan into a blue, hot chick. Purely for plot reasons.

While I am still sitting here waiting for lazy Jon to write up a review for it, have a look at masked superheroes through the ages in the opening credits for the movie set to the sound of that old geezer Bob Dylan.

Ah, fake nostalgia. What a bastard you are.