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The Benefits of Laser Eye Surgery
Jan 27th
If Laser Eye Surgery went like this, I’d sign up straight away.
I have always dreamt of having eyes that could shoot lasers, or at least own a jet-pack like Boba Fett. I imagined how cool I would look. This was before I got beaten up in middle school for wearing a Star Wars is Forever T-Shirt, of course.
Now I am haunted in my nightmares by a bunch of school bullies with rocket powered jet-packs hunting me down an alley. But then out of nowhere appears Falkor, the luckdragon from Neverending Story and saves me. We then have ice-cream.
I tell you, looking into my mind is not pretty.
If I had lasers shooting from my eyes my dreams would look very different. And I would probably not need a Death Star after all.
You may fire when ready:
This awesome picture was made by Happy Toast from the b3ta community. All credits go to him.
Black Dynamite Trailer
Jan 23rd
Good news for all the blaxploitation fans out there pimping it like it’s the 70s: Black Dynamite, sort of a parody on Shaft or something like that is coming to the big screen. And the trailer is looking good.
I’m not a big fan of blaxploitation myself, mainly because I don’t really watch movies from the olden days (pre 80s) except for maybe Star Wars, Jaws and some others. I did get a kick out of I’m Gonna Git You Sucka, a blacksploitation parody from thelate 80s directed by one of the Wayans brothers who also starred in the movie. I watched it because I like the song by Boogie Down Productions. But do you care about that? No, of course not! What happened 20 years ago in my life doesn’t even interest me.
This is the red band trailer and people say that means there’s swearing and nudity and all sorts of stuff that might label it as NSFW. So if you are at work, relaxing with some hard liquor, just wait until the boss goes home and then watch it. It will look like you’re working overtime instead of looking for porn on your colleagues computer. You know the drill.
He’s supercool and he knows kung fu:
via Videogum
Patience you’ll need young Jedi when building Star Wars papercraft
Jan 23rd
OK. I wouldn’t make a good Jedi. That whole patience thing just doesn’t fly with me. So I can understand that Anakin guy – from a certain point of view.
A Jedi needs patience.
Patience.
But for what?
As it turns out it’s not for fighting the Sith or solving interplanetary conflicts but for building awesome Star Wars papercraft. And I’m not talking about your 5-minute-quick-folding stuff. We’re talking Jedi Master level here.
I lack any sort of skill and motivation for this kind of task. Any task, really.
To elaborate, here is a drawing of an AT-AT from me. It took me about 4 hours to get all the fine details done. You can clearly see how much effort I put into this.
He is as clumsy as he is stupid:
And this is how the papercraft looks like that I will never be able to build.
Impressive, most impressive:
As you can see, there is a slight difference in skill here.
So if any of you feel like spending the rest of your lives folding paper, be my guest. And send me one, please!
via Tomopop and Spanky Stokes
Download the Deathstar plans papercraft blueprints here.
This is madness! Get in the back of the van!
Jan 23rd
This is madness! That was the first thing that came to mind when I first saw this video a couple of months ago. Which demented brain came up with this crazyness?
Back off right there! My first impression, as usual, failed me. Just like that one time when I bought all that useless Jar Jar Binks merchandise because I thought he was gonna be BIG after Episode 1. Oh well …
What we’ve got here is a failure to communicate total work of utter brilliance and genius! Indeed it is!
Swede Mason, the artist behind this music video, has taken a simple quote from the cult movie Withnail & I (particularly popular amongst British students for its many drinking game possibilities. Just google this, will you?) and put some beats to it and … well. Turns out this is one of the best things on the Internet.
Ever.
For real.
I could (did, and will again) watch this for hours on end.
We’ve gone on holiday by mistake:
visit Swede Mason on MySpace and on his youtube page
The Empire needs your help: Support Our Troops
Jan 22nd
You know, these are dark times for the empire. The deathstar blown up, no emperor and the former Dark Lord of the Sith Darth Vader being some sort of esoteric blue spirit resembling the powerpill infected ghosts from Pac Man, the empire is only a shadow of its former glorious self.
But you can do your bit. Show your support for the struggling troops in a galaxy far, far away with this awesome messenger bag.
via Fashionably Geek
It’s Bacon Time
Jan 22nd
Oh hey, look! A bacon watch!
For only 25$ you too can be the proud owner of a fashionable bacon watch reminding you that it’s always a good time to eat bacon and clog those arteries. Clog them hard!
Bacon! Bacon!! BACON!!!
via the rather awesome Snackosaurus Rex
Ackbar! The Star Wars Talk Show
Jan 22nd
It had to happen.
Even in a galaxy far, far away TV isn’t much better than here on Earth and trashy talk shows can be found on every holo-channel.
As if further proof was needed, the Skywalkers are shown as the moisture farming trash family that they really are.
via College Humor
Things that needed to be done: The Portal Gun has been built
Jan 22nd
Although this is just a copy it gives me hope. Hope, that one day someone out there will actually build a real Portal Gun. And give it to me. Me alone. Step 1 in my plan to take over the world. Step 2: Deathstar (Isn’t it great how I manage to sneak in a star wars reference into almost every post?).
Details are as follows (let’s get technical, shall we?):
It lights up both blue and orange along the tube, in the barrel, and in the “indicator light” on top. The light switch is a two-way toggle in the back by the handle. It’s 22″ long including the prongs and weighs about 15 lbs.
for more pictures fire up this convenient link to the flickr page.
via Kotaku
Obama vs Darth Vader
Jan 21st
I once had a dream where I was having the coolest lightsaber battle ever with none other than the Dark Lord Darth Vader himself – and I was winning!
I am no Sith myself and have fairly decent manners, so I decided to let Vader live and he ran away like a little girl. I knew that he still had some business with Luke and I didn’t want to mess with the Star Wars universe and timeline. That’s how considerate I am!
Unlike the new US president, apparently. He goes into full on battle mode with Vader, as is evident in the picture below. Go Obama, the force is with you!
Only now, at the end, do you understand:
more pictures here.
via Official Star Wars blog
Space Battleship Yamato built from LEGO
Jan 21st
Lego stuff is cool. That’s what I keep telling myself so I can keep on buying Star Wars Lego and replay Episode 3 the way it should have been (with Jar Jar ending in a Lego lava pit). For a little moment I even considered buying that Lego Deathstar. But to be honest, there’s too many pieces in that set and I run out of patience so quickly that I would just end up looking at the packaging instead of building the damn thing.
The guy who built this cool Lego Space Battleship Yamato though… not only does he have angelic patience and skills. I’m sure he also has a mental problem. Why else would you spent around 40 hours playing with tiny little bricks? Was there nothing on TV?
Obviously I am just plain jealous of his skills. The guy with the awesome skills is, of course, an artist from Hong Kong and goes by the name of Vincent Cheung. He has a gallery up over at Brickshelf with many more awesome Lego pictures, so go and check it out.
I want that ship, not excuses:
via Tomopop, The Awesomer, Klocki
