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Star Trek Convention 1973
Mar 31st
Legions of devoted fans The voices in my head demand more Star Trek content to counterbalance all the other neatly edited quality content that you’re used from this glossy internet sharade I call my website. So here’s some interesting Star Trek convention footage from 1973.
This great document of past times shows that even in the olden days you would have had no problem filling Arkham Asylum with new patients. “I’m ambassador X from eco-system 4″ But of course you are, sir, please put on this comfortable white straight jacket and do follow me. By the way, the lobster on your head gives your costume that extra authenticity.
Bonus: Isaac Asimov says something clever about Star Trek in this.
[via io9]
STARPRISE ENTERSHIP
Mar 22nd
Cake: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starprise Entership. Wait, what? No it ain’t!
I love cake. I love geek cakes. And I love geek fail cakes.
The voices in my head Bothan spies tell me that what a first looks like a brilliant cake wreck is in reality a cleverly orchestrated prank on a Star Trek nerd. Imagine his face, waiting all happy for his birthday cake and then this blasphemous piece of dough, jam and icing makes its way onto the table …
KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!
Nerd rage – it’s not pretty.
[via failblog]
The Lost Sheep Song
Mar 20th
We don’t call us ‘commandsheep’ for nothing.
Guess where that name comes from, I dare you.
While you’re guessing, have a song about a lost sheep.
Utterly, utterly sad.
WON’T SOMEONE PLEASE FIND THIS LITTLE SHEEP’S MUM? OH DEAR GOD!
Tesla Coil Imperial March – old hat already?
Mar 19th
To answer this rhetorical question in the most journalistic way possible: YES.
Proof: posted to the ugc video sharing site youtube on 19th February 2009.
In internet terms this is, in fact, a very old hat. Or old cheese. Runny, old cheese.
Well, so much for our journalistic integrity on reporting just the facts. Of course we have to post this. It’s (yet another) Star Wars related video. And this is what this site, the safe haven for embedded Star Wars nerdism, is all about.
So without further ado, please do applaud these true heroes of our time for their bravery in, er, science. Or something like that. There’s a Tesla coil, so it must be something to do with science. Possibly.
Power! Unlimited power!
via Nerdcore
Melt your brains! Melt them to mush!
Mar 2nd
Do you know what’s important in life?
It’s not how many friends you have, or if you achieve a state of mental bliss.
The most important thing in life is to watch crazy, stupid stuff on the internets. Obviously!
This short little video was done by Cyriak, animation genius with a demented sense of reality. Or maybe he has escaped from a mental institution. It really doesn’t matter.
After watching this video, all those years of therapy, self-reflection and analysis will be for nothing. Your brain will turn into a mushy mess. Lovely!
Baker’s “Racist Cookies” Prompt Furious Reactions
Feb 26th
Who says the evening news is boring?
Meet Ted:
Ted is a friendly neighborhood baker from Greenwich Village in Manhattan. Ted was so stoked by the election of Barack Obama to the Presidency that he decided to bake a tribute in his honour.
Here is Ted’s tribute:
I won’t say anymore – but the video to this story is a thing of beauty – a rare piece of natural comedy genius.
Christian Bale is a lovely person
Feb 5th
You probably have already heard (again, we’re number one for old news!) that Batman actor Christian Bale went bonkers on the set of Terminator 4 and threw a tantrum.
Not because Batman he suddenly realised that the Terminator franchise has been squeezed to death by the previous movie and the horrible TV series (except that strangely hot Summer Glau Terminatrix chick), oh noes, something much more sinister happened: The director of photography walked on the set and was distracting Batman Christian Bale. Batman Poor guy couldn’t concentrate on the scene (probably something really important like pressing a button in front of a bluescreen) and had no other choice than to voice his anger. Also, I hear he had an upset tummy from eating too many bean burritos from the lunch van.
Now with stuff like that happening in the times we live in, sooner or later it goes viral on that internet thing the kids use. And then it gets mashed, remixed and put on youtube for the rest of us.
Final proof that threats, swearing and danceable beats mix so well together:
What the fuck is it with you?
You can get a free mp3 of the song here.
Mark Gormley is my new hero. You heard me.
Jan 29th
Now, many of you young and hip internet people (yes, you with your shiny MacBook and your tall, nonfat decaf latte, wearing a black turtleneck sweater) out there have probably already seen the videos of one Mark Gormley. The thing is, those young and hip internet people don’t come here much. They only visit this site to show others how things on the web should not look.
So for all the other people out there that do visit this site, my fellow internet losers, let me explain what Mark Gormley is all about.
I first saw his masterpiece Without You about 2 weeks ago, laughed about it but found myself playing it over and over again. Seriously.
Mark looks a bit like your average science teacher. Or if you prefer, your average normal white guy, age 45plus with a moustache. He seems not to care too much about his appearance and ist just doing his thing. More or less, he appears to have given up on any sorts of prospects for the foreseeable future and is recording his songs and putting them out there for all of us to see as a hobby to disctract from a boring life. At least that is my interpretation of him. Or in short, he’s a bit like Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force, but with a musical talent.
The videos themselves have little production value, mostly greenscreen with some cheapo effects and miserable CGI pulled from the archive of an old Amiga 500. Now, of course, this is just my interpretation and has by no means any validity. Like anything I say, really.
So that you know what I am talking about, let’s have a look at Without You. This is my favourite Mark Gormley song so far.
Now that you have seen that, what do you think? Is he a menacing predator or a nice guy?
Actually, he is a nice guy. After his videos on Youtube took off, unlike many other internet “stars” that go viral, Mark Gormley stays down to Earth (although he goes into space in many of his videos) and comes across as a rather nice guy. See here:
Godspeed, Mr Mark Gormley!
The Benefits of Laser Eye Surgery
Jan 27th
If Laser Eye Surgery went like this, I’d sign up straight away.
I have always dreamt of having eyes that could shoot lasers, or at least own a jet-pack like Boba Fett. I imagined how cool I would look. This was before I got beaten up in middle school for wearing a Star Wars is Forever T-Shirt, of course.
Now I am haunted in my nightmares by a bunch of school bullies with rocket powered jet-packs hunting me down an alley. But then out of nowhere appears Falkor, the luckdragon from Neverending Story and saves me. We then have ice-cream.
I tell you, looking into my mind is not pretty.
If I had lasers shooting from my eyes my dreams would look very different. And I would probably not need a Death Star after all.
You may fire when ready:

This awesome picture was made by Happy Toast from the b3ta community. All credits go to him.
This is madness! Get in the back of the van!
Jan 23rd
This is madness! That was the first thing that came to mind when I first saw this video a couple of months ago. Which demented brain came up with this crazyness?
Back off right there! My first impression, as usual, failed me. Just like that one time when I bought all that useless Jar Jar Binks merchandise because I thought he was gonna be BIG after Episode 1. Oh well …
What we’ve got here is a failure to communicate total work of utter brilliance and genius! Indeed it is!
Swede Mason, the artist behind this music video, has taken a simple quote from the cult movie Withnail & I (particularly popular amongst British students for its many drinking game possibilities. Just google this, will you?) and put some beats to it and … well. Turns out this is one of the best things on the Internet.
Ever.
For real.
I could (did, and will again) watch this for hours on end.
We’ve gone on holiday by mistake:
visit Swede Mason on MySpace and on his youtube page



